Greetings!
It's good to be back home, here on N. Wintzell after a week of travel. Last week, we took the opportunity to spend a few days away during Suzanne's spring break and, as always, we had quite the adventure. For this trip, we decided to go somewhere a bit different than our usual haunts, so we headed north to the mountains of eastern Tennessee for our time of rest and relaxation. If you've never visited the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area, you've missed out. I had never been there myself until just about 4 years ago. We were Disney World people (a story for another day) and never made the trek north. Each trip to the mountains fills me with a fresh perspective on the experience and this trip was no different.
Gatlinburg
No trip to the mountains would be complete without a cruise down the Parkway in Gatlinburg. One of the things that I appreciate about Gatlinburg is that I always walk away with my ego boosted from the trip. I'm a bit on the hefty side. While I'm not completely obese, I could definitely stand to lose a few pounds, and moving closer to Mama's cooking hasn't helped. A few years back, Suzanne and I took an anniversary trip to New England and found ourselves enjoying the scenery on a Saturday night in Burlington, Vermont. It was a beautiful place and I loved our time there. Burlington was also filled with thin attractive people. I was the largest man in the city. This is not the case in Gatlinburg. While the good people of Burlington looked at me with disgust over their grilled chicken salads, the visitors to Gatlinburg I saw looked up from their plates of pancakes and bacon as if to say, "come join us son, you're looking a little puny". In Gatlinburg, I'm truly amongst my own.
If we are what we consume, then my time in Gatlinburg scares me more than a little bit. If you were unaware, the entire economy of this fair city must be based on fudge, airsoft guns, and airbrushed t-shirts. The fudge I understand completely. Who doesn't love overpriced candy? (as for me, I prefer my tourist-trap confections in the taffy variety) I can understand the appeal of airsoft guns for young boys on vacation, but I can't for the life of me understand the thriving airbrushed t-shirt industry. (Disclaimer: I've never owned an airbrushed t-shirt) After observing my fellow travelers for a few hours, I felt like the airbrushed t-shirt was a cultural ritual worth participating in. I also believed that it would be better if my beloved and I got matching airbrushed t-shirts. Unfortunately, I was unable to convince my bride that we would be easier to keep up with in Dollywood with matching airbrushed t-shirts. As we passed by the shops, I gave significant consideration to what we might be able to get. At last, I decided that the perfect design to express my love of my wife and pride in my culture and heritage would be a buck and a doe standing side-by-side at sunset on a hillside covered with a Confederate-flag. I can't understand why she didn't want one either. Maggie let me know that she wouldn't be seen with me if I got an airbrushed t-shirt. Harsh words from a 5 year-old. At least Joseph thought the SpongeBob one looked cool.
That's all for today, but I'll be back soon with more on my trip report!
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